


"abso-fucking-lutely, please"

by reddieforanything



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M, Holidays, M/M, also does edward kaspbrak is gay for the entire losers club? lets find out, also richie and bev r tight, and so are eds and mikey, bfbvfvbf im done, guys being dudes, he still loves everyone okay, holiday fluff, i literally love so much, kids being kids, maybe jst richie but, my big faves, new years eve party!!! whoo, njfdjnvfsbhfdbhj, sassy stan is the best i love him, starring: me dragging all my teachers into oblivion, theyre all in love...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 11:11:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13145457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddieforanything/pseuds/reddieforanything
Summary: christmas and new years have come and gone-- but who says you can only get presents on holidays?





	"abso-fucking-lutely, please"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [michelllejones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/michelllejones/gifts).



> this isnt heavily xmas themed, but whatever fhvfdnff enjoy!

“Oh my GOD, don’t you _ever_ shut up!”

“Yeah, when I’m sucking face with your mom.”

“SHUT _UP!_ ”

The day you get back from Winter Break is both a salvation and a damnation to Edward Kaspbrak. While it's nice to finally get away from your noose-of-a-mother that suffocates you more than your fake asthma did in 5th grade, it fucking sucks to have to go back to school to

“Aw, Eds, you know I’d never cheat on you with your own mom, that’s fucking gross. Her ass is like two loosely packaged hams covered in saran-wrap. Don’t fret, my sweet. You and I are the true Kaspbrak-Tozier power couple.”

_that._

“That isn’t what I meant and you know it. Also, you’re disgusting.” Eddie groaned, huffing a strand of hair out of his face. 

“You love it, babe.” Richie retorted, mussing up Eddie’s hair in spite of Eddie’s attempts to fix it. 

“We aren’t even dating, don’t call me that.” 

Richie slung his backpack over his shoulder and flashed a grin.

“Well, it’s either Eds or babe, so take your pick.”

 

Eddie sighed and pinched between his knitted eyebrows, partly out of frustration and partly out of his own embarrassment-ridden cheeks. Embarrassment for Richie, that is. What an idiot. 

“Well, given that I don’t have a single clue who the hell Eds is, he can’t be me. I suppose I’ll go with babe.”

“Perfect. See ya at lunch, babe!”

“Can’t wait, smartass.”

 

Eddie took a sweet sigh and began his trek to first period. His cheeked burned in annoyance as he slipped into Precalculus with Valenti. He sunk into his seat and began his logarithms notes. Ms. Valenti was losing his attention as he mindlessly doodled little hearts around the name he wrote in the top right corner of his notes page.

_**Edward Tozier**_

He smiled to himself. He was so, _so_ gone. Pluto was closer to Eddie’s right state of mind than Eddie was. He was hopelessly in love with Richard Tozier, and he truly couldn’t wait for lunch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Richie came at him in the cafeteria at a thousand miles an hour, engulfing Eddie in Richie’s tangle-of-limbs, sorry excuse for a hug. Eddie smiles briefly and rolled his eyes, “Get off, Richie. Can’t you see I’m trying to eat?” He took a bite of his ham and cheese sandwich to emphasize his obvious preoccupation, but Richie didn’t care. Instead, he placed a fat, wet kiss on Eddie’s cheek. Eddie nearly died.

“Come with me to the lunch line. I want to buy you something edible that isn’t your mom’s shitty ham and cheese sandwiches.”

Eddie figured he couldn’t fight it, so instead, he just let out a sigh, a shrug, and agreed. He waved goodbye to the rest of the gang and in his periphery, he could’ve sworn he saw Beverly give them a wink and a thumbs up. 

Huh.

Eddie knew It was quite possible that he was about to be massively pranked by the biggest, dumbest asshole he’d ever met, but Eddie’s hand was clasped with his crush’s and he could care the fuck less. Rich could slap him in the face and step on his toes and Eddie would probably still be thankful. But Richie would never do that, which is honestly an added bonus to the fact that Eddie was totally in love with him.

“I have a really wild idea,” Richie states as they shuffled into the cafeteria line. 

Eddie’s heart thumped as he kept a straight face.

“What is it?”

“Can I kiss you?” 

Eddie felt it like a sucker punch to the chest. He blushed a deep red and choked back a breath. His throat closed and he wished he had his stupid fake aspirator back. 

“Can you-Wait, what?”

Richie fumbled a bit, still smiling, “Can I kiss you? It’ll just be a stage kiss, you know, fake! I wanted to copy that one vine and Bill said he wasn’t going to disrespect Stan by kissing me, so you’re my next best choice.” 

Eddie’s expression faltered, his blood running cold with jealousy as he sighed gently. His smile, though fake, still remained as he took his entree, “You know, whatever. Go for it.”

“Hey, Professor!” Richie called excitedly. Their shitty APUSH teacher reared her ugly head from across the line at them and sneered. He gently pulled Eddie’s chin towards him and placed his thumb between their lips, kissing it sweetly. Eddie could feel his stupid hot breath on his mouth, Richie’s lips pulling into a shitty smile. Richie pulled away to see the witch’s expression She gagged and covered her mouth and he laughed his ass off. Haha, so hilarious. What a funny prank, yeah.

Eddie sighed.

“Well, she didn’t say she was gonna vomit like in the vine, but I still got an amazing fake kiss out of it.” He laughed.

Eddie felt the stone-cold ache in his chest heat up as his cheeks reddened, “Sure did.”

“Sure did. Hey, Eds?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Fine, babe, then. Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” he wiped Rich’s fake kiss off his lips. Who knows where that trashmouth has been. 

“Remember how it was New Year’s Eve last week, and we were all at the quarry throwing firecrackers over the edge of the cliff?”

“Yeah?”

“And how it turned twelve, and Ben and Beverly kissed, and Stan and Bill kissed, and Mike set off our last bottle rocket into the sky, and you were looking at it fly up into the air?”

“Sure.” Eddie admired the memory. The plastic bottle had whizzed up into the air, leaving a trail of sparks and a shrill screech in the path it carved in the sky. It was small, but it was beautiful. Like how Ben smiled when someone so much as mentioned Beverly, or like how Beverly’s eyes gleamed when she was truly happy. Bill’s laugh, Stan’s loving glances, Mike’s caring embrace, and Richie’s terrible jokes. All the things the Losers did were little things on a big list of reasons to love them all. They were all small particles of who they were. Eddie liked that.

“I was looking at you, and I wanted to kiss you.”

Eddie was dazed.

“I know I always joke around and stuff, but I really wanted-- want-- to kiss you. I’ve wanted to for a really long time, and I don’t think I realized it until--”

Richie would have continued. He would have told Eddie that his pretty pink lips illuminated by Mike’s lighter and the sparks and the moonlight told him what he should have known a lot earlier-- that he was in love with him. He would have told Eddie that every time they slept over, he wanted to hold Eddie and never let go. He wanted to tell Eddie that he’s liked him since 5th grade and that he’s hated Mrs. Kaspbrak ever since what came to be known as the Gazebo Incident that caused Eddie to be torn away from their friends. He wanted to tell him that he beat up that stupid fucking clown all for him and that he’s always wanted to kiss him, ever since he saw his cinnamon-dusted cheeks and his big doe-eyes.

Truthfully, he was going to, but Eddie pulled him in for a kiss at the lunch register. 

It was gross, and Richie desperately wished he’d had a mint beforehand, but Eddie loved it. He loved him, probably more than he’s ever loved anyone in his entire life. He smiled into the kiss and clasped his hand onto Richie’s, pulling away at last and giving the hand a squeeze. Grabbing a brownie from the lunch counter and purchasing it, he squeezed Richie’s hand again. He felt safe and happy and warm, like how you feel when you’re sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, drinking tea. Or how you feel when you’re in love.

“Catch up, babe. Don’t you want to tell Beverly your plan to woo me worked?” He smiled, gliding over to their friends’ table.

“‘Babe’? What happened to ‘We aren’t even dating’?”

“Well, do you want to be?” Eddie flashed a smile, gliding over to their friends’ table.

“Abso-fucking-lutely, please,” Richie beamed and pushed his glasses up his pink nose, buying his lunch too and skipping after Eddie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beverly high fived Richie after he set his lunch down and smiled at Eddie knowingly. Of course knowingly, Eddie thinks, Of course she knew. 

 

He smiles again.

“Does this mean you both will stop uselessly pining after one another and finally date?” Stan asked, earning a snort from Bill.

“Y-Yeah, guys,” Bill added, “You were fuh-fucking ob-obliv-vious.”

“Now I can finally get back to studying for Harrison's instead of constantly taking the brunt of Eddie’s crush.” Mike joked.

Richie waved off their comments, “Laugh it up, guys, but know this: I am no Loser anymore-- Now I am the Winnie-est Winner that ever Won.”

Eddie smiled softly at their intertwined fingers and Richie rubbed his thumb absentmindedly while making some sort of sex joke with the others. Eddie doesn’t mind. He never did.

**Author's Note:**

> im trying so hard happy holidays to yall blease critique with kindness & gracias for reading :^)


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